Reasons Why Yoda is Better Than Dumbledore and Gandalf Combined

(I really have to come up with better titles…)

1) Wardrobe/ Artillery

Yoda’s wardrobe is extremely simple, consisting of a cloak and a walking stick (which apparently is a common theme between the three of these wise individuals). While Yoda might not be the most fashionable of the trio, it doesn’t mean he deserves less respect. In fact, where he lacks in fashion, he makes up for in artillery. Yoda carries around a lightsaber, which, according to Obi-Wan Kenobi, “is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.” Now I’m not going to lie here but I do believe that if a lightsaber can sever body parts as if they were made of butter I think it could destroy any sword, shield, or wand, even ones that are infused with lightning or the tail hair of a thestral.

Gandalf can call on a whole bunch of friends to come to his rescue if he ever needs it and he often does. Dumbledore can do the same by calling his trusty phoenix Fawkes to come save the day. Whom does Yoda call for help? NOBODY! Why? Because he doesn’t need anybody’s help, in fact everyone calls on Yoda for help when they are in danger. If Yoda summons anything for help it is the Force. Yoda even explains this to Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back by saying, “…my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us.”

While both Gandalf and Dumbledore need a piece of wood to create any type of special magic attack, Yoda is able to do this sans timber. He is able to move heavy objects by using the force (this includes “throwing ‘dem bitches to the ground” as Halee said). Let us not forget the fact that Yoda is able to absorb or reflect Force lightning that is shot at him. This is much more useful in battle than illumination although I’ll keep Gandalf in mind when there is a blackout and I can’t find any candles.

Finally, from watching Yoda in battle (which will be discussed in detail later) one can see that he has extreme agility and fighting skills both with and without a weapon. What makes it more impressive is that Yoda is doing all these insane moves at the ripe old age of 874 (when he fought Count Dooku in Attack of the Clones. Yoda dies in Return of the Jedi at age 900). Dumbledore was 115 years old when he died and Gandalf doesn’t age because he isn’t a life form that gets older. Therefore, it is more impressive that an 874 year old is able to be agile and skilled in battle than it is a 115 year old who can do magic tricks or a being that doesn’t age or lose any abilities.

10 points to Yoda!

2) Apprentices

Again, this is no contest. As the most revered Jedi in the galaxy, Yoda has the honor of teaching most younglings when they first join the Jedi academy. Then these younglings are paired up with other Jedi to continue this training towards becoming a Jedi Knight or Master. This is similar to Dumbledore being Headmaster of Hogwarts except Yoda actually gets his hands dirty and teaches his students things instead of selecting a privileged few individuals to be taught a few things here and there. Yoda has also trained some of the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy (Count Dooku, Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ki-Adi-Mundi), many of who were so powerful that they were members of the Jedi High Council with Yoda. In addition, I don’t believe Gandalf was the leader of the coolest team ever seeing as how the Fellowship pales in comparison to the Jedi Order in number and ability (Dumbledore didn’t even know about Dumbledore’s Army and Harry Potter was more a leader of the fight against Voldemort than Dumbledore was). Also, at the time of his death Yoda had been training Jedi for eight centuries! I don’t think Jedi had tenure so this is a pretty impressive feat.

3) Nemesis

I would have to say that Yoda has two nemeses, Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine aka Darth Sidious. Emperor Palpatine wanted to rule the galaxy so he started the Clone Wars, played double agent, abused his political power, and then ended up enacting Order 66, which was the mass execution of all Jedi in the galaxy. I’m not going to lie but that would upset me too if I was Yoda. Furthermore, Anakin Skywalker aka Darth Vader went completely berserk and helped Palpatine murder all the Jedi, including the younglings (“Master Skywalker, there are too many of them, what do we do?” This scene still gives me chills). Needless to say, the heinous acts of these two individuals make them pretty intense nemeses for anyone to have to face. Voldemort is pretty heartless going as far as killing Cedric Diggory more or less, because he was blocking the Dark Lord’s view but an infant stymied him, which is pretty sad. Also, a group of angsty high school children defeated the Death Eaters so they couldn’t have been that difficult to battle. Furthermore, Sauron was just a giant eyeball looking for his stolen piece of jewelry much like any college student often does. Granted college kids don’t go on killing sprees but still. Also Palpatine didn’t just want world domination ala Pinky and the Brain but galactic domination. That’s pretty scary.

I would also like to point out that while it is true that Yoda did train Count Dooku and failed him, Yoda did not train Anakin Skywalker. In fact, Yoda was against training Anakin because he was too old and had too much anger in him already. The only reason Anakin was trained at all was because the Jedi Council wanted to honor Qui-Gon Jinn’s dying wish and even so, Yoda was still against it.

4) Battles

While Yoda didn’t do a lot of fighting, when he did fight he made it count (Jedi don’t use the force to attack but instead defend). The two main battles that we see were Yoda vs. Count Dooku in Attack of the Clones and Yoda vs. Darth Sidious in Revenge of the Sith. In both of these fights, Yoda displays his agility and skill in fighting by constantly jumping around and using his lightsaber. In addition, due to his small stature, Yoda must be constantly moving and weaving to not be hit by his enemy and be in range to do any type of damage. This is much different from the slow-paced far away fighting style of the wizards of lame Gandalf and Dumbledore. Furthermore, in both of these fights Yoda’s opponent is frightened by the idea of fighting the great Jedi Master and attempts to escape. Dooku escapes at the end of the fight by attempting to crush an injured Obi-Wan and Anakin (luckily, Yoda cares more about saving people than he does about getting the bad guy) and Sidious tries to escape after Yoda walks away from being Force lightninged without a scratch but Yoda gets in his way and says, “If so powerful you are, why leave?” I don’t see anybody shivering in their boots when Dumbledore or Gandalf shows up to fight. Fear equals victory for Yoda in this section.

5) Coolness

If we are sticking with the name idea then let me start by saying that Yoda has one name and one name only. Yoda. No more. No less. He doesn’t need to clutter his superior skills and abilities by hiding behind multiple names like Gandalf the Grey or Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore do. Much like Cher, Madonna, and Beck, Yoda is instantly identified by his one word name and commands respect from that name. Occasionally, he will be referred to as Master Yoda but seeing as how the word Master just adds to his coolness, I don’t count this as an extra name. Yoda is also the coolest, strongest, most respected Jedi ever and is constantly the basis of comparison for all Jedi (“Strange. The transmission seems to be in good order, but the reading’s off the chart…over twenty thousand…Even Master Yoda doesn’t have a midi-chlorian count that high!”) When Yoda said Anakin wasn’t ready to be trained, everyone agreed (minus Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan but we all see how well that turned out). Meanwhile, when Dumbledore came out and said that Voldemort was back, half of the wizarding world thought he was a crackpot and wanted nothing to do with him. Even the Minister of Magic thought Dumbledore was off his rocker. How does the one of the most powerful wizards in the wizarding world not have the ability to gain any respect? That is why you fail (quotation from Yoda).

6) Humor

Yoda is a very serious Jedi. He doesn’t mess around and rarely jokes. However, towards the end of his days Yoda becomes a bit of a comedian. Case and point: When Luke first meets Yoda (and doesn’t know who he is), Yoda acts like some feeble old creature who is looking to bother and annoy Luke and R2-D2. His actions in this scene are absolutely hilarious! From looking in the trunk and crying “NO! Awww” when Luke takes something from him to screaming “Mine!” and hitting R2-D2 when the droid attempts to take a flashlight from his hands. Not to mention Yoda is great with the word play (“When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not.” Zing!). While I do enjoy jam and other types of preserves, Dumbledore’s sense of humor is just plain weird and I never really understood it. While I do enjoy some scathing humor every once in a while and impeccable timing always adds to any joke, I thought that unless you understood everything about what Gandalf was trying to say the joke would go right over your head. Meanwhile, Yoda is just so cute and adorably old that his joking is hilarious to people of all ages.

7) Wild Card

My wild card category is icon status. Much like Indiana Jones can be recognized solely by his hat and whip (which makes him an icon); Yoda is much more an iconic figure than either Gandalf or Dumbledore. If you ask any random person on the street to describe Gandalf they would say, “A wizard with long hair and a beard who wears a cloak.” Now ask them to describe Dumbledore and you’ll receive the exact same response because these two characters are not iconic (yet) as Yoda is. If you asked any random person on the street who Yoda is they would immediately talk about the little green Jedi with the big ears who talked backwards. This is because much like Star Wars itself, Yoda is iconic. Not only is his physical appearance instantly recognizable but so is some of his dialogue and teachings. I have often heard people quote Yoda by saying, “Do or do not. There is no try” as well as many other things Yoda has said. While I’m sure “Look to the East!” is huge with fans of Lord of the Rings (I am not one of them and if you want to know why I refer you to Clerks II) I don’t hear many regular people use it. Dumbledore, on the other hand, is much more iconic than Gandalf but I believe that it is because he is more recent than Gandalf. Furthermore, the fact that Yoda is still iconic after almost 40 years is a test to his awesomeness.

Well there you have it folks. As much evidence as I could reasonably fit into a blog post as to why Yoda is better than Dumbledore and Gandalf. If you’re looking for reasons why Gandalf is better than Yoda and Dumbledore I refer you to Halee’s post (even though I don’t know why you think this false statement is true) Also be sure to read Billy’s blog on Thursday to read about his ill-fated attempt to prove that Dumbledore is better than Yoda and Gandalf (another false statement).

Who is the best? Gandalf, Yoda, or Dumbledore?

Just remember folks. Adventure, excitement, a Jedi craves not these things.

http://vimeo.com/22412678

Special guest host Matt Cooper sits in with Brian Donovan and I as we finish up the always exciting Butler/Maid Brackets. See if Alfred Pennyworth and Geoffrey Butler can fight their ways into the final for a battle royal.

Also, we cover what BU freshmen need to know for Marathon Monday and sprinkle in a couple of our wild stories.

This week we feature the music of Cities & States, Arctic Suns, Erin Egan and The No Comment A Capella group, and as always, 24*13.

Turn us on and let your mind wander as you get excited for Marathon Monday! If you’re not in Boston for Marathon Monday, feel free to day dream about what it would be like to be in Beantown on one of the most glorious days of the year.

Saturday morning is a dreamer’s dream. The weekend is far from over and anything is possible. The dreamer has one night under his belt—Friday—and has another night at his disposal. Anything can happen.

It’s okay to think good thoughts on Saturday morning. Crazy thoughts are acceptable—especially on sunny Saturday mornings. Sunny Saturday mornings are like the world telling you, “Go for it.”

So here are my crazy, idealistic, pretentious, unrealistic, realistic, blissful, ignorant, charming, annoying, and hopeful thoughts this Saturday morning (in no particular order):

• I miss Saturday morning cartoons
• Don’t take cabs home by yourself on Fridays
• The word “flagellum” is a funny word
• Grooveshark.com is the coolest website of all-time
• Next to candystand.com
• Remember the old bowling game on that website?
• Everyone should get glow-in-the-dark stars on their ceilings
• I wish I could sing
• And play guitar well
• Life’s short
• I really hope the Cubs win a World Series in my lifetime
• Love is a funny thing
• Water is good when you’re hungover
• Sleep too
• How much money does Alex Trebek make?
• Seriously, that guy has to be rich
• No clue what I’m gonna be for a 90s party tonight
• Movies aren’t as good as they used to be
• I’m hungry
• I really wish I could sing

Get out there and sing today.

Also, someone find out how much Trebek makes and get back to me. I bet he has some rich Saturday morning thoughts. All (corny) pun intended.

I love Saturday mornings.



This past weekend, I got the opportunity to go to one of my best friend’s hometown in New Hampshire for a special event. Let’s call my friend David. David lost one of his best friends three years ago in a tragic car accident. Let’s call his friend John.

John was a junior in high school. He was a star athlete and one of those kids who lit up a room. This weekend marked the second annual memorial basketball game put on by the alumni of John and David’s school. John’s family uses money raised at the event to fund a scholarship they award to exceptional student-athlete seniors at the high school.

We’ve all heard a story like this before. As David’s mother put it, “There’s one of these things that happens in everybody’s town.” She’s right. However, too often we just shake our heads upon hearing about one of these stories and say something like, “What a shame!” Myself included. Not this time, though.

This weekend I realized life can’t be like a movie. Movies are too simple. In movies, we pretty much know when “THE END” is coming. In life, we can never truly know. I don’t mean to sound like a downer. I’m just stating a fact. John was full of life. For all John knew, he would pass away at the age of 80, holding his beloved wife’s hand in a hospital somewhere.

If life were like a movie, there would have been a heartwarming montage set to sad, music as David, John’s family, and the rest of the town got over the death somewhere in the span of 30-40 minutes. I’m not pretending to know what David went through, but I know it took longer than a couple of scenes to come to grips that John—whom he loved like a brother—was dead at 17-years-old.

When we turn on our computers or TVs to pick out a movie we hold the power of choice in the form of a keyboard or remote control. We can pick a comedy, drama, horror, or action movie. We can pick an Academy Award winner or a complete box-office bust. We know the brand when we pick the show.

After clicking “Enter” on either your keyboard or remote, your movie of choice begins to play. Good movies won’t be heavy handed—that is, things will seem to unfold naturally. Nonetheless, no matter how organic a great story seems to be, the writer or filmmaker carefully wove the script together to elicit certain emotions and create a satisfactory, sensible conclusion.

Stories like John’s prove that there are many sad endings to the lives of happy people. Comparing life to a movie seems childish now. I’m sure there was nothing cinematic about David’s life as he got over John’s death. I believe David realized long ago what I have finally figured out: there’s no one writing or producing our lives.

In that sense, life is more like a crazy game of cards in Vegas. We can switch tables occasionally, but we’re not shuffling or dealing the cards. We have to play with the hand we’re dealt. That doesn’t mean we can’t win occasionally, but it certainly means we’re going to lose a whole lot more often.

Again, this isn’t meant to sound negative. I want to focus a little bit more before this post seems too existential or religious. What visiting New Hampshire this week showed me was that there’s something admirable about playing the cards you’re dealt. There’s a way to honor the lives of people who have died prematurely by respecting the life you still have. We can’t bring back people who have passed on.

But, we can make sure to live life to its fullest. That’s what those whom we loved and died would want us to do. It’d be a disservice to them to waste the life we’re given.

Each classic movie has a few definitive scenes or quotes that everyone remembers. When “THE END” flashes on the screen, we immediately play back the most significant parts of a movie in our heads. I suppose in that sense, life should be like a movie. We might lose more than we win, but, at the end of the day, maybe we should focus on the times we win.

We can’t pick whether our life is a comedy, drama, horror, or action movie. We can’t choose what scene we’re in all the time. We can’t choose the motivations of characters in our stories. We can’t even choose some of our lines correctly all of the time. Unfortunately—most of the time—we can’t choose when “THE END” happens.

What we can choose is how we use the life we are given. We can choose to honor those—like John—who passed away before they should have by living our life to its fullest. We don’t know when the ominous end is coming, but shouldn’t we do our best to enjoy every moment until then?

Yeah, I think life is more like a card game than a movie. I’m going all in.

I’m glad to see you came back to hear our sexy radio voices… or just came back to hear some good music and fast-forward through our somewhat intelligent banter. Sorry for the occasional static this week. We’ll fix it next week!

This week we’ve got a treat for you. Everyone loves March Madness. Whether you know anything about basketball or not, you’ve heard of bracket pools. You pick whatever college team sounds good to you, turn it in with ten bucks to the guy who runs your office pool or friends pool, and hope to God you win the pool somehow, someway.

We wanted to do our own bracket at the Happy Hour. In honor of our other favorite BU that qualified the tournament–Butler University–we created a bracket of famous butlers and maids and squared them off against each other. Our guest hosts–BU alums Paul Kresge and Brian Fadem–helped us debate who made it to the second round.

Take a quick look at the bracket while listening: http://challonge.com/butlerbracket

Last week’s votes are listed next to the name.

But our show isn’t just about us. We want YOUR opinion. That’s why we are letting you decide who makes the second round. Please vote who makes the second round below:

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The Happy Hour is about music though! We’ve got some great songs this week too. Absolute Flavor, Dimitri Kouri, and Gravitas are our featured bands this week. Great, great music.

Hope you enjoy the Happy Hour! Cheers. Stay tuned to see if your pick in the Butler/Maid bracket advances!

Remember, you can always email us with music at bkirland@gmail.com.

I’m looking forward to throwing my cap into the air. No question about it. However, I’ve realized that it’s about time to make a Boston Bucket List. Billy’s Boston Bucket List, if you will.

The old wise men tell me that you don’t get a second chance to capture the magic of your college years. I’m starting to believe them. Therefore, there’s little time to waste. Time may be on our side in our young lives, but fickle time is becoming our mortal enemy as the end of college looms.

Okay, here’s the list, kids:

1) Find an old BU football jersey and put it on the Harry Agganis statue.

That’ll show the administration, right? The BU community got so excited when the men’s basketball team made the tourney. Don’t tell me people aren’t looking for a reason to tailgate on Saturdays.

2) Go to the Sam Adams brewery.

Why the hell haven’t most of us been there already? They not only give out free beer, but free glasses as well. FREE THINGS. YES.

3) Walk around Charlestown in a sweat suit.

That’s right. I want to walk around Charlestown in a sweat suit like Ben Affleck in every Boston movie he acts or directs. Is it too much to ask? Maybe I’ll rob a bank while I’m at it. And by rob a bank I mean politely ask someone at an ATM for some money.

4) Dress up like an American Revolutionary Soldier and fight Red Coats at Bunker Hill.

There are only two major problems with this item on the list. First, I have no clue where to come up with a Revolutionary Soldier Costume. Second, who is going to want to be a Red Coat? We’re going to have to find some bitter Brits and convince them they’ve got a shot at re-writing history. But they do not. Cheers to Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of kicking British ass.

5) Go See A Celtics Game at the Garden…

And brag about how my Chicago Bulls are in first place, baby! Sorry, I had to throw that in there.

6) Walk the ENTIRE Freedom Trail.

I’d like to follow that painted on red line and see where it takes me. Anyone want to join? I’m sure there are two new historic Boston sites for every one I’ve already seen. Not into history, you say? We’ll bring a cooler and our buddy Sam Adams. That should pique your interest.

7) Show up an over-confident Harvard or MIT student at a bar, get a girl’s number, then go back to the over-confident jerk and ask if he likes those apples.

“Do you like apples? I said, ‘Do. You. Like. Apples?’ I got a NUMBAH! How about them apples?” Yes, I want to be Matt Damon.

8) Break into the Harvard Library.

Those snobs don’t let anyone in that place. Even alumni have to pay to get in. I think I’m going to put on my aforementioned sweat suit and devise a brilliant plan to break in. If I get jammed up, I’ll hold court on the street.

9) Bring an easel, canvas, and paint to the Boston Gardens.

I’m a terrible artist. I just think this would be hilarious. People would walk by and expect to see something of beautiful on the canvas. However, they’d walk away disappointed at the five games of tic-tac-toe I have lost to myself.

10) Pull a Paul Revere.

This is exactly how it sounds. I am going to ride a horse around Boston screaming, “The British are coming!” Maybe this should occur before the Bunker Hill Battle. It would be historically accurate. I think.

11) Streak through Fanueil Hall.

Okay, I don’t actually have the balls to do this. But how hilarious would it be? Everyone drops his or her tray of food. If we finish that cooler on the Freedom Trail there’s a good chance someone does this.

12) Tee up in the Back Bay and hit golf balls into the water.

I’m a terrible golfer. I want to disprove the theory that I couldn’t hit water standing on the beach. Granted the Bay isn’t the beach, but I think I could at least hit a couple grounders that reach water.

13) Run the Boston Marathon.

Just checking to see if you’re still reading. No way in hell this is happening. I love Marathon Monday too much. This year I’m going to try and stay awake past 9:30AM. If you’re taking bets, go with the over. I’ve got it this year.

Only 58 days to complete these things. I better find that Revolutionary Soldier costume. Maybe I’ll just fight the Brits in my sweat suit.

How about them apples?

Have any additions to the bucket list? Leave them in the comments.

We’d like to formally invite you to listen to the first edition of the UnCommon Discussion’s podcast, “The Happy Hour.”

The Happy Hour is designed to give BU students a chance to showcase their musical talents. Each week, the hosts peruse a selection of music from local bands and have some fun discussion in between. We are proud to be broadcasting from the same studio we imagine Howard Stern broadcasted years ago…

Here are your hosts:

Billy Kirland on the left. Brian Donovan in the middle. Noam Newman on the right.

The show is simple. We play music, you listen and then you humor us as we joke around for a little bit. We really want to hear from musicians at BU though! We are more than happy to play your music. We record the show every Friday and post the podcast the following Monday.

This episode is a little old, but please, turn it on as you do homework, clean your room, run, anything! We’re happy to take your mind off the everyday trials of life. After all, we are The Happy Hour.

The Happy Hour is brought to you by Mugar Library and The Off-Campus Student Council. If you would like to submit music or just contact us with comments or suggestions, please email mugarlib@gmail.com.

The bands featured in this first edition are:

24*13, Doomstar!, The Needy Visions, Girlfriends, The Big Big Bucks, You Can Be A Wesley, Earthquake Party!, and len bias.

ENJOY THE FIRST EDITION OF THE HAPPY HOUR!

Perhaps my experience with adults I respected and loved growing up has something to do with my view that the traditional work day takes place at an office where staying entertained is harder than finding a boss that understands your point of view. To me, “work” has always been something that took place at a cubicle in an office somewhere. It’s a place where middle-class people suck it up and write semi-meaningless reports because they have to earn a check to support themselves and their families.

Yes, my view of the middle-class workday is a bleak one. I mean this as no insult to people who work their rear ends off from 9-5 everyday. If anything, I admire these bluish-white collared workers more than any working class. I understand their struggle.

The struggle I don’t understand, however, is that of the single man or woman who works from home. I am saying this as a single man who writes this blog post from home. Working from home is awesome! Granted, you don’t get the social aspect of going to work. I do miss that.

But you can’t go to work in your boxers. No one at home—no one is home—cares if you have particularly rancid case of morning breath. Bad hair day? No problem—unless your mirror takes it personally. I’m not especially concerned with my appearance at work everyday, but even I have to admit being able to keep my 8^th grade basketball jersey on during my workday is pretty awesome.

The argument against working at home is of course that it’s hard to focus, blah blah blah… I don’t buy it. Would you rather be at work wishing that you were home in bed or lounging in front of the TV, or actually be at home laying in bed and lounging in front of the TV? I know my answer.

Working from home makes the work for your job as easy as high school homework.  Seriously. It’s completely acceptable to fall asleep while working on a project. You can have four glasses of Hawaiian Punch without freaking people out. You can even ride the tidal wave Punch sugar high and have a dance party alone. Yes, you can live out your dream of being the main character of an 80s movie by sliding around on your wood floor and dancing like no one is around…. BECAUSE NO ONE’S AROUND!

The great thing about doing all these things is that it’s part of your work day! Woo hoo!

The only catch is you have to fit in some work here and there. Man, I better lay off the Hawaiian Punch.

I don’t know how much longer I can handle these rain/snow/ice/slush storms anymore. This is getting beyond ridiculous. Today I walked to work—Mugar—from my apartment in Brookline. Bad idea. I had one of those famous movie moments where a car drives by and splatters water all over you.

There was a twist, though. The street water was actually ice-cold super street slush. Also, there were two cars. Yup. Splashed once… and then splashed twice. I suppose I shouldn’t complain. I was about ¾ of the way to work—I suppose it could have been worse. Since I don’t drink coffee in the morning maybe ice-cold soaked through pants is the way to wake up in the morning.

This isn’t a cry for sympathy. I should be happy to have a job that allows me to complain about my walk to do the said job. I know I’m not the only one getting a nice slush splash to begin my day.

I was talking to some friends the other day and we came to the consensus that snow really isn’t necessary after Christmas. And slush? Well I don’t think slush is ever necessary. Growing up in Chicago, slush happened when the snow began to melt. In Boston, slush falls from the sky. It’s as if God—or whomever/whatever you believe determines the weather—has a cold like everyone else this season and his excess snot is accidentally dripping on the whole Northeast.

That may have been too graphic. Slush stinks because it’s weather that can’t make up its mind. Maybe that’s why I don’t like it. I need things one way or the other. The in-between kills me. Slush is the epitome of in-between. It’s not cold enough to be snow, but not liquid enough to be rain. It’s just slush.

I hate slush. When’s spring break anyway? I’m booking my tickets to Naples this week. I really hope it doesn’t rain when I’m there. But I suppose rain would be better than slush.

Since the dawn of man, humans that lived through cold, miserable winters have wished for snow days when a heavy snowfall begins. Neanderthals used to pray to their pagan gods for a day off of hunting and gathering. Why go out and kill another buffalo—or whatever they ate—when you could eat the leftover mountain lion in your cave fridge? It was much more desirable to light up a fire, lay back on your La-z-boy bedrock and sleep all day as you look at your cave paintings. Neanderthals set the tone for the rest of humankind.

Like humankind, however, snow days have evolved. The important thing to keep in mind is that our inherent desire (as naturally lazy humans) for snow days remains alive and strong. Snow days give us all an excuse to do what we wish we could do almost everyday—okay, maybe every other day. How many people can say that they actually want to get out of bed every morning? Who can honestly say they wouldn’t want to lounge around their house all day in their PJs?

I would be naive to think this is how all people like to spend their snow days. There is another approach to this unique situation: SLEDDING! If you aren’t going to sleep all day, you may as well take advantage of the snow in the only other way you can. Go to your local sports store and see if they have any sleds. You can never be too old for sledding.

Hell, I think as college students that we’re in our sledding prime. We’re crafty on the hill and know how to navigate around some strays walking up the hill the wrong way. Furthermore, we’re big enough to be the person who causes pain on unforeseen collisions. We’re not the little kids who get the raw end of crashes anymore.

I think the best snow day is a combination of sledding and lounging—in no particular order. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe the best snow day is sledding in a lounge chair. Best of both worlds! To top it off, you’d have to watch the Nickelodeon Films cult classic Snow Day when you got home.

Too bad you can’t do any of these things with a two hour late start.